If you find yourself struggling with a coworker, step back and try to view the situation objectively and rationally:
- What impact does this person have on you?
Are they simply annoying or do they prevent you from doing your job?
We waste a lot of time ruminating over people who aren’t really doing anything to us; we just don’t like them.
Don’t expend energy unless it matters.
- Consider your options if they do have impact on you
Can you take the person for coffee and talk with them?
Can you work with them differently?
Can you engage someone else to mediate?
Is there someone who does get along with them that can coach you?
Instead of giving in to the emotion and getting upset, can you mentally step outside the situation and view what’s happened with detachment?
What can you learn about this person?
Why do they do what they do?
Why does it bother you so much?
Becoming clinical and interested often takes the personal “sting” out of another’s behavior.
- Play a game of mental ‘what-if’
Can you pretend for one day that you do get along with this person?
Can you make a list of things they do well, or that benefit you?
Can you find anything at all positive about them?
See if you can change your mental snapshot even for a short period of time.
When all else fails, adopt the mantra “This too shall pass.” This job isn’t the be-all and end-all of your life. Something will happen; the person will get relocated, or you will leave, or the person will calm down, or someone else will take their place. Try to keep perspective on it instead of letting it drain your vital energy.
Via Psychology Today
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