Black Is…

Water in a stagnant pond

A fermented leaf under a storm cloud
swollen with rain
blocking the sun

A casket lowered into the moist earth

Dark reality and painful truth

Lies

A battered guitar in a dark corner

The rope of life and death

Fear

Dreams

A dead wolf at my feet

My philosophy of ‘black’ began taking form in 1988. I live in a world of light, of optimists, of God and Jesus, of goodness and hope. Yet I surround myself, literally, in darkness.

90% of my wardrobe is black, and the other 10% is dark - burgundy and deep blue and purple. Many around me think I am depressed, but they don’t understand my philosophy. Today, a good friend made a comment about my black clothes having something to do with how very easy it would be for me to become a complete hermit if I wasn’t careful about making sure I got out and forced myself to interact with humans outside my family. I sheepishly said I wore black because I like black, but there’s so much more to it than that. When it comes to my clothes, I feel less out of place in black, less conspicuous, more ‘me’. But black also makes me feel like I am making less of a statement with my physical presence, and hopefully, more of an impression with my intellectual presence. And though I feel I’m pretty optimistic in general, my philosophy of black doesn’t make it pessimistic, but realistic. How many people do you know put on shiny bright facades, but are evil, lying, snakes in reality? The lightness of their outward being blinds people to their true motives. Life and truth are in darkness, not lies and death. I’m not talking about the ‘gray’ area so many people choose to reside in just to avoid either perfect truth or perfect lies, I’m talking about the truth that doesn’t hurt, because real truth causes pain.

“I’m having an affair”
“You’re a complete disappointment to us both”
“Cancer”

Real truth is a painful blinding light. You can’t sit in the gray area pretending everything is hunky-dory in the face of real truth. When people are confronted with white-light blinding truth, they usually recede to black truth. You know. You will always know, and that sharp biting light can’t hurt you again. In 1988, I learned about painful truth and light, and knights and shining armor, and although it has taken me many many years to come to full terms with that knowledge, I am comforted by my philosophy of black. Nothing surprises you in the dark, nothing bites and blinds. You just ‘are’. And THAT’S why I choose black.