One of my daughters has been good friends with a little boy since 3rd grade. He’s a nice, polite boy, and I never minded him coming over to play, and she would spend many hours at his house as well. Over the past 2 years, he and my daughter seem to have grown apart. They don’t spend any time together outside of school. I know that their changing views of the opposite sex has a lot to do with their changed relationship, but I still was bothered by the seeming loss of an important friendship from my daughters life.

Yesterday, she got an electric guitar for her 14th birthday and surprised me by asking if he could come over today to see it. Now, they are playing video games and eating chips and ice cream in the back room with her sisters. 5 teens. One of them is a deep-voiced, tall young man that doesn’t much resemble the little boy who used to come over to play on the weekends. I hear snippets of conversation between laughter…”No, really, we have gel and can give you a faux-hawk” (Note to self - find out if they really think faux-hawks are cool) Woman-like laughter and seriousness in the midst of playing video games and surrounded by stuffed animals.

Seeing them together now after so long makes me realize even more clearly how quickly they are growing up - and I don’t like it. I guess I’m also realizing that the changed relationship thing doesn’t affect them half as much as it affects us. She and I. They are adapting to the changed nature of their relationship, while I tend to get stuck treating us the same as I did when she was an awe-filled little girl fascinated with everything around her. She’s quickly becoming a young woman learning to control the things that used to confuse her. And even though he’s still as polite and well-mannered as ever, right now I’m thinking I really don’t mind the fact that this tall, deep-voiced young man doesn’t come around much to keep reminding me that children become adults, and playground friends become something I am TOTALLY not ready to face.